Just over 7 weeks into my sick leave, there is not much change yet. Admittedly, during the month December, I was still somewhat busy with two weddings, which I had to officiate. Next to this I had to prepare a number of speeches for the National Youth Convention 2012. I'm thankful that I could still be part of this camp, even though due to my fatigue I could not participate in this camp as much as I would have loved to be there.
So what is this chronic fatigue. For me it is more a tiredness of the mind than of the body. Hence, I would rather describe it as a 'burnout'. Medical tests( all kind of blood tests as well as a brain scan) have shown that there is nothing serious. This is was very comforting news. Meanwhile there is the frustration of being tired in my mind every day. At times I even have difficulty in concentrating in prayer. Most likely, I have simply worked too long on my last resources, escpecially during the last year before Rev. Rupke came, often 70 hours a week, week after week. I also have to learn to say "No!", when requests for help come.
I fervently pray that by the beginning of March I may feel good enough to take up some work again. It is especially preaching the gospel, which I miss most. Though I enjoy listening. Sometimes for a minister it is also good to sit in church, listening!
So what lies ahead to recover: mainly rest and daily exercise - a good walk! Last week, my wife and I spent a number of days in Albany, catching up with our children living there, whist during the first two weeks in February, we hope to have some quality time together in Busselton, the Lord willing. We pray that the LORD may bless these two weeks to get over this tiredness.
Also this rest is part of God's plan. This morning, my wife and I were reminded of this during our devotions from my favourite book "Streams in the Desert". Let me just give you a few quotes:
"There is no music during a musical rest, but the rest is part of the making of the music. In the melody of our life, the music is separated here and there by rests. During those rests, we foolishly believe we have come to the end of the song. God sends us times of forced leisure by allowing sickness, disappointed plans, and frustrated efforts. He brings a sudden pause in the choral hymn of our lives, and we lament that our voices must be silent. We grieve that our part is missing in the music that continually rises to the ear of the Creator. Yet how does a musician read the rest? He counts the break with unwavering precision and plays his next note with confidence, as if no pause were ever there.
....
There is no music in rest - let us nort forget that the rest is part of the making of the music. The process is often slow and painful in this life, yet how patiently God works to teach us! And how long He waits for us to learn this lesson."
It's a lesson, which is often hard to learn - also for me! God teach me patience! So often when we open God's Word, it speaks directly in the situation we are in. Also this is part of God's plan with our life! What a wonderful God we have.
Let me leave you with a link to a YouTube clip, from which I receive often much strength as well. It's one of my favourites, posted by me already a view times on Facebook. The text is Dutch. It speaks about storms with gale forces and yet God will bring the ship of our life safely home, when we keep our eyes focussed on Christ, the true light that keeps shining no matter how much the darkness surround us.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6RtMFo61ais&feature=fvsr
Till next time!
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